During this interesting, shoot off of a meditation retreat – while still being a full time parent and partner – some of the most valuable aspects have also come through initially feeling very alone, very unsafe, and very misunderstood. Reminds me a bit of Saint John of the Cross, whose writings are contained in Dark Night of the Soul, although my experience has been much less grueling.

Along with all of these not-so-comfortable experiences has been the accompanying cultural standard where I live that children deserve and need punishment. This goes against every grain of well being in my body and mind. It is only in the last month that I have met a parent who is exploring other options. The rest of the few families and school officials I have met either believe fully in corporal (and other shame-based) forms of punishment, or they teeter on the subject – not fully having a foot in one or the other… which means they punish sometimes, feel guilty at others, and struggle much of the rest.

In the times I have felt alone, the intensity would initially pull me toward running away or going back “home”. Except home isn’t really a place for me; it’s more an awareness of truth, of what is, of what lies beneath the story currently running through my experience. All of the moments I felt intense isolation from people and resources who would support my choices as a person, partner, and parent have drawn me deeper into right here and now, my true home. A sense, a current of peace running through everyone and everything – even those who I felt I had so little in common with. I have been challenged to see our likeness, even if we disagree on points so important to me that my life revolves around them.

The opening I have experienced can’t really be put into words, though I can speak to its significance. I see people differently. I judge much less. I truly feel at one with people, even those who are actively choosing ways that are so different than me it would have previously made me cringe. I see humanity for what it is, identity for what it is, and I experience the love at the center. It’s always there, inside of the story. We get to rest in It if we so choose, instead of thinking we are all alone.

A question to ask when one feels alone may be, Who is alone? Really, who?

Is it me? Who am I? What difference is there between me and him, me and you, me and the Truth? Possible answers… attachment, identity, adherence to a story as if it is absolute reality. Look deeper, what’s inside? Feel it…

Issues around safety have brought me to a deeper space of trust and faith that I ever thought I would know, and the process continues. How can we be safe in a world where death and famine are rampant, where we ultimately cease to exist in the body at some point? What is safety, really? I am not ignoring the relative reality of being safe from harm, from harsh actions of those we surround ourselves with, of living in conditions that support and nourish human life.

I am sitting with these questions, asking what safety really means to me. Feeling what it really means, because in so many times of my life I have felt unsafe, afraid, alone. I can choose to see a bigger picture, to notice all of the times that all is well, that my family and I are safe, to nourish a sense of safety through awareness, and to take it one moment at a time, living intentionally, responsibly, with purpose.

This is not perfection I am speaking of, this is presence.

What does it mean to be misunderstood? Does it mean that someone thinks I am wrong? Does it mean I am wrong? Does it mean I have not communicated clearly? Does it mean the person on the receiving end has the issue? Is it a cultural, language, or some other sort of barrier? How does it feel to not have a connection of understanding with those around me?

It feels like isolation.

The growth potential of isolation cannot be measured, but it can be embraced.

In moments when you feel alone, afraid, unsafe, or misunderstood consider challenging yourself to experience what is waiting for you underneath, inside of the confusion and pain you may experience. See if you can access the peaceful base of being that is always present, waiting, and abiding to guide you through and out of the experience of isolation and into the experience of illumination.

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Yep, take an intentional breath, let go of the reigns of illusory control and relax for a few…

You know the difference between trying too hard and taking positive action. When you let go of the first, you open up space for the latter.

Enjoy.

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Some of these result in suffering for not only ourselves, but those around us. Seeing patterns for what they are can help.

A pattern is something we have repeated enough to default to it when we’re not paying attention. That can be a good thing if that means you put on your seat belt before driving, brush your teeth before bed, or go to the bathroom before a long road trip.

It may not be so helpful if it means you are hating yourself in your head, thinking atrocities about someone you love, or leaving the dishes until they pile up and everyone in the house is asking “when are you going to clean up the kitchen”?!

One approach to seeing patterns for what they are is to become aware of how they work (or don’t work) in your life. Just watch and observe. Be open to how these particular patterns formed in your life.

This information may or may not come quickly and sometimes it isn’t important as we’re not looking for someone to blame. We are looking for roots. Sometimes we see the roots and can pull them up so no trace is left, other times they dissolve under the ground. Whatever works.

If you are pulling up roots, be sure you don’t pull too hard. Be gentle with the thoughts, language, or patterns – if you are harsh it is possible that you are continuing to allow a pattern that you don’t want in the back door. Again, just see it for what it is.

As you see the patterns for what they are – simply repeated actions – spend an equal amount of energy considering patterns you would like to learn and incorporate. Learn and integrate new patterns!

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When creating space for transformation to occur in your life, it is vital to remember that the space is already ever present. It is the recognition of the space within which allows us to actually transform. We release the reliance on ideas and identity and rest in the space that is the base of our being.

Some refer to this space as God, true self, or the Creator. Some refer to it as peace, truth, or the ability to choose.

The space that is necessary to release the hold or attachment to identity and ideas may appear to be two separate forms – the choice to be aware and the Source of the space Itself.

Are they really different or separate from each other?

Is there really any true separation?

Are you absolutely sure?

It is natural for many people to initially be very reliant on the self (even if some aren’t very productive in that action). Early on I thought I had to do all of the hard work of changing myself. On a relative, practical level I absolutely do have to take action to bring about change.

On the internal level that action is surrender to the present, aware space within that lovingly guides. As we listen and feel into that space we coalesce with it. It is there, always seeking – waiting – abiding to guide us in action that benefits all. As we release resistance to life in various ways and go within to acknowledge the space we realize separation is only by choice.

The space to transform is always present – we can choose to recognize it in any moment.

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After waking up to the fact that identity in itself is impermanent, only applies to our relative Earthly reality, and seemingly wreaks havoc on our very existence – I struggled for a while. There is quite a bit of information circulating these days regarding identity, interests, and ego. Some of that information may seem to point to a “problem” with identity itself. I mean, it is the source of all evil – isn’t it? Putting one’s self first, relishing in the delight when another falters, and actually hurting another for the purpose of personal gain. Hmmmm…

Identity is not the enemy.

If there is an enemy – and by enemy I am referring to something to be aware of so you can love it into resolution – it is the adherence to ideas as absolute truth. This clinging causes one to perpetuate thoughts that create stress in the mind and body, leading to words that are spoken, and actions that are carried out.

Ideas are not absolute truth. They are creations of the mind based on our experience of reality. Certainly, they can speak to relative truth – in the moment. Relative truth is always changing, though. Ideas change and grow and transform, too – especially when we allow the process to take place by opening a space within ourselves for transformation to occur.

As a mother I watch the identity of my children form and morph on a regular basis. For a while I felt a little stress about the natural development of one’s identity. I know, silly. A healthy identity or sense of self is important for the developing child. Key word: healthy.

So what constitutes a “healthy” identity? From the perspective I now hold, one which recognizes identity for what it is – a constantly changing mind map of a person with the basis founded in essence, Absolute. We can nurture a healthy sense of self by looking inside and affirming Truth.

At our core we are spirit. When we remember that and choose to tune into the aspects of ourselves that are inherently connected with Source we recognize that it is not necessary to cling to all of the little threads of identity we find so important. They are present – we are here – and we can rest in the simpleness of our basic nature. We may even laugh with ourselves.

And for those who celebrate – Happy Independence Day. May you experience independence from any mental adherence that creates stress in your experience.

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I recently had a conversation with a loved one that led to me ask him if he would consider an alternative approach when he was faced with a certain situation. I asked this of him because I felt it may be beneficial for him, and others.

As he shared how he felt in response to what I asked, I noticed again the strong adherence to identity that humans face. He spoke about not wanting to be asked to change. There was a sense that in asking for him to consider an alternative I was asking him to be different, inferring that who he was in the moment was not good enough. This was not my intent – at all.

Our identity, that who we believe to be who and what we are, is in a constant state of change also – but it would have us think otherwise. It clings to aspects of ourselves and our lives in ways we cannot always see, although we can feel it when we pay attention. Becoming conscious of these patterns may not always be easy, but it gets easier with practice and is quite liberating.

One step is to simply notice defensiveness, resistance, blame, tension, or other mental/physical/emotional indications that the identity is fearing its demise. It may not initially feel simple and it’s not even really a demise, it’s just a potential transformation – which we all experience on a regular basis whether we are aware of it or not. Each moment is potentially transformational…

In the moment you notice the flare up, also notice your breath. It is a simple, sure way to stop the reaction – or outward action of inner turmoil – from reaching out and grabbing a hold of another (not necessarily literally.) Feel your breath. Recognize the anchoring effect this has and take it deeper as you feel the life inside of your body.

Continue this focus for as long as it takes to meet all aspects of yourself – thoughts, emotions, sensations, tension, frustration, calm – whatever. If you feel a response is necessary, focus within first and check to see if it is actually helpful or if it is just an attempt of the identity in claiming its space.

Identity is what it is, neither bad nor good. It just is. Awareness around the facets of identity and the tendency to adhere to what and who we think we are allows us to see identity for what it is – essentially changing and impermanent.

Awareness, on the other hand, is of the Absolute. The doorway to the release of the stronghold on your life and the opening to a new experience of life more liberating than you can imagine.

The door is always present, it’s up to you to open it and walk through…

© amychristine for Amy Phoenix, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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Really.

Let go of the ideas that you need to be different in some way or ways. Just for right now.

Love and accept who you are, who you have become, the past that brought you here, what may or may not be working in your life, the present that sustains you, and the future that awaits.

Now, how difficult is this for you? Probably not too difficult as you read along, right? You can lead yourself to this inner acceptance anytime you want.

Accept yourself as is and proceed from there.

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1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s the only thing you are sure to keep for the rest of your life.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life on Planet Earth. Every person or incident is a Universal Teacher.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. “Failures” are as much a part of the process as “success”.
4. A lesson is repeated until learned. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it — then you can go on to the next lesson.
5. If you don’t learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear obstructions, your outside world changes. Pain is how the Universe gets your attention.
6. You will know you have learned a lesson when your actions change. Wisdom is practice. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.
7. “There” is no better than “here”. When your “there” becomes a “here” you will simply obtain another “there” that looks better than “here”.
8. Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.
9. Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life – or someone else will.
10. You always get what you want.Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract – therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.
11. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralizing doesn’t help. Judgements only hold the patterns in place. Just do your best.
12. Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written. You know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do is to look, listen and trust.
13. You will forget all this.
14. You can remember anytime you wish.

Written by Dr. Cherie Carter Scott, who wrote the book If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules. Thank you to rules4humans.com for providing the information to properly attribute these valuable rules for life – and the simple drawings to illustrate them.

© amychristine for Amy Phoenix, 2011. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: awareness, life, rules for being human, spirituality

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Healing means becoming more whole; since growth in consciousness means recognizing one’s prior wholeness, the spiritual path is the essence of healing. You cannot have healing on your own terms… If you want to be comfortable, get busy getting conscious. -James Wood

Early in 2008 I surrendered my life to the Creator as I firmly stepped on the path of truth. The evening of the surrender I had a spontaneous healing experience that can only be described as a spiritual transformation. I have told the story here and there, each time feeling like words cannot do it justice. It was intense, light, and freeing all at once.

I have offered healing services since that time with the realization that healing is available in different forms than one may initially think and it starts within. That’s a bold declaration in a world where many people experience suffering with little or no relief.

It can also be greatly misunderstood.

Pain is a form of awareness, bringing your attention to something. Healing often involves rooting out core stories, healing anger and resentment, and making patterns conscious. -James Wood

Healing is unique, intimate, and personal. If we seek healing as something other than the realization of our true nature  – which we can gradually uncover through walking a path of truth, if we think a God of wrath must have mercy on us, or if we think healing comes from a “healer” – we are lost in the ways of the world. We are lost in that which is false.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines false as “not genuine, intentionally untrue, and adjusted or made so as to deceive” and healing as “the act or process of curing or of restoring to health.” Who deceives? We do. We deceive ourselves. We succumb to the darkness. We forget that the only way we can perceive darkness is when we are turned away from the light. We relinquish our personal responsibility in exchange for blame.

In the Christian context we credit Satan. That’s fine. We can call it Satan – the label does not matter as it still takes place inside of our own minds, hearts, and souls. We are aware of the results – illness, unrest, stress, misery, resentment, and a host of other negative experiences. We still choose to buy into the deception. It’s tricky, too, because we are handed loads of it by our parents, friends, schools, communities, churches, and the world. Lies. Lots of them.

And we believe them, become enmeshed with them. We think we are them.

A false experience of healing comes through falsely believing our own thoughts and crediting our or another person’s identity as the source of healing, instead of the Creator who resides within. Yes – we work together, we influence each other, and we can have a healing effect on one another. And yet, it is our own willingness, openness, and honesty that leads to our experiences.

In other words, I’m here waving a big sign for all of us – wake up! Wake up from the lies that have told the story of your life up to this point and experience the healing of the present moment, where truth resides.

© amychristine for Amy Phoenix, 2011. | Permalink | 6 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: awakening, awareness, energy healing, faith healing, honesty, integrity, reiki, reiki healing, spiritual healing, truth

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• I am responsible for my thoughts, feelings, and actions. They are inside of me and come from me. It is up to me to choose my response to what I experience.
• If I depend on another to make me feel better or different I am not acknowledging my inherent power-strength-value-worth.
• I do affect others through my choice of actions. Listening and discussion fosters understanding so I can honor myself and others.
• I experience shared power-strength-value-worth with myself and others through being responsible for my individual and our shared experience of Life.
• I am willing to listen and work through conflict with honor and respect. I communicate what is important to me.
• I am aware of my choices and I [am learning to] choose intentionally. I gather helpful information as necessary.
• I learn new skills to replace those which no longer serve me or others.

I am response-able.

© amychristine for Amy Phoenix, 2011. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: choice, freedom, honesty, learn skills, path of truth, power, relationships, responsibility, strength, value, worth

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