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Force Free Parenting Table of Contents

New to Force Free Parenting? Please start here.

This table of contents provides an overview of what’s been written up to this point, as well as some of what’s to come (links will be highlighted and clickable once content is written). This is a first draft! Content may be edited, added, removed or moved around as the book is written. It is also possible that some of the content may only be available in the completed print version.

Please Note

If you feel confused about anything you are reading, please comment on a post or contact me for clarification before you apply anything to your parenting experience. I am not advocating anything dangerous or irresponsible by sharing ways to remove force from the adult child relationship.

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Background

Part One – Recognizing Force

Part Two – Recognizing Our Base Nature

  • Chapter 5 – Brain Body Survival
    • Basic Safety
    • The Nervous System
    • The Nature of Identity
    • The Nature of Sensation
    • The Nature of Presence
  • Chapter 6 – Affirming Our Base
    • Awareness
    • Meditation
    • Simple Inquiry
    • Affirmative Statements
    • Mental Rehearsal
    • Rest and Relaxation
  • Chapter 7 – We Are Potential
    • Aware Presence
    • The Space of Potential
    • Meeting Our Children in Sameness
    • Embrace Challenges As Opportunities
    • Secure Support for the Journey

Part Three – Rooting Out Force

  • Chapter 8 – Force Free is Trust Full
    • What is Force Free Parenting?
    • The Basis: Nurturing Trust
    • Trust and Basic Safety
    • Truth, Trust and Love
  • Chapter 9 – The First Hurdle: Noticing How We Force
    • Awareness is Golden
    • Behind Closed Doors
    • Simple Inquiry – How I Force
    • SAFE
  • Chapter 10 – The Second Hurdle: Noticing How We Were Forced
    • Noticing the Momentum of the Past
    • Simple Inquiry – How I Was Forced
    • Repeat, Repress or Reveal and Heal
    • Healing the Past: Honoring Feelings
    • Simple Inquiry – Choosing What I Take Forward
    • Choosing the Momentum of Presence
  • Chapter 11 – The Third Hurdle: Addressing the Mental and Emotional Components of Force
    • 3 Dangerous Beliefs About Children
    • The Innate Nature of Children
    • Honoring Feelings As Signals
    • 2 Direct Ways to Deal with Fear
    • Meeting Trauma Stored in the Body
    • Simple Inquiry – What Do I Really Want
    • Simple Inquiry – What Really Works
    • Simple Inquiry – Resistance and Acceptance
    • Simple Inquiry – Expectations and Outcomes
    • Simple Inquiry – Clarifying My Values
    • Simple Inquiry – Control and Trust
    • Simple Inquiry – Reality Check
    • Simple Inquiry – Choosing My Focus
    • Simple Inquiry – Choosing Congruence
    • Simple Inquiry – Communicating Clearly
  • Chapter 12 – The Fourth Hurdle: Defining Discipline
    • Punishment, Permissiveness and Discipline
    • The Myth of Consistency and The Power of Congruence
    • A Cornerstone of Discipline – Opportunity = Responsibility
    • Choices, Consequences, Results and Outcomes
    • The Truth About Rewards and Praise
    • 3 Ways We Teach
    • 100% Parenting Principle
    • The Power of Presence
    • The Power of Intention
    • The Power of Clear Boundaries
    • The Power of Positive Expectation
    • The Power of Side Conversations
    • The Power of Clear Vision
    • The Power of Repetition
    • Circling As a Main Discipline Strategy
    • Choosing How We Teach
  • Chapter 13 – The Fifth Hurdle: Relinquishing Punishment
    • Reconciling the Right, Obligation and Need to Punish
    • An Honest Look at Rewards and Praise
    • Biblical Perspectives on Punishment
    • How to Take Punishment Off of the Table
    • Vital Step in Collaborative Parenting
    • The Power of Congruence
  • Chapter 14 – The Sixth Hurdle: Facing a Forceful World
    • Mirrors and Invitations
    • Dealing With a Forceful Partner
    • Dealing With Forceful Family
    • Dealing With Forceful Media
    • Dealing With Forceful Outsiders
    • Maintaining Honor While Releasing Obligations to Family
    • The Power of Modeling Force Free Parenting
  • Chapter 15 – The Seventh Hurdle: Repairing the Effects of Force
    • Cultivating Compassion
    • Working Through Trauma
    • The Power of Commitment
    • The Power of Sincerity
    • The Power of Connection
    • The Forgiveness Process
    • Whole Body Listening
    • Reparenting Children Who Are Forced
    • Special Time
    • Sleep Talking

Part Four – Practical Application

  • Chapter 16 – The Most Difficult Hurdle
    • One Simple, Guiding Principle
    • Choosing Trust
    • Direct Experience
    • Possibility of Potential
    • Spiral Staircase of Parenting
  • Chapter 17 – Practical Alternatives to Force
    • The Sit Down
    • The Sensation Balloon
    • The Simple Inquiry
    • The Satisfying Shout
    • The Special Notebook
    • The Silent Treatment
    • The Soft Whisper
    • The Smooth Exit
    • The Silly Signal
    • The Serenade
    • The Speaking Notebook
    • The Speaking Walls
    • The Solution Rehearsal
    • The Sweet Surrender
    • The Smooth Pivot
    • The Stay and Listen
    • The Sixty Second Shift
  • Chapter 18 – Situation Specific Application
    • Philosophy, Choices, Practice, Affirmation, Rehearsal
    • Safety – How to Handle Emergencies
    • Pregnancy
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • Young Children
    • Older Children
    • Pre Teens
    • Teens
    • Adult Children
    • Adult Children with Children

Acknowledgments

Index

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