“Until we understand what is within, we can’t understand what is without.” – Anita Moorjani
Being the parent I want to be starts with me giving myself the attention I want to offer to my kids. This isn’t always easy for me. Sometimes I avoid it in lots of little ways, side stepping it slightly while knowing the only way I can help myself is by being willing to be with myself… unconditionally, lovingly.
Establishing a daily sitting practice is the basis, just to sit with myself, to give myself time to do nothing, to just notice, to be with what I feel, think and experience. To be mindful, aware… of what’s going on inside of me. How I’m seeing myself, my children, the world, my experiences. To be with myself as I am.
What does this look like in practical terms? I’ve meditated for years in the midst of life and some while resting, but I have yet to establish a daily practice of sitting for a specific amount of time. So, while starting and continuing a sitting practice may look like just another thing to do, it’s actually one less thing.
Choosing a time or two each day to sit with myself for five minutes or more requires me to take a very draining experience off my to-do list: avoidance. Well, okay, I never put avoidance on my to-do list, but it always creeps into my day. Through simply choosing and committing to these times with myself I reduce avoidance and gain awareness. Whether I choose to sit in the morning when I get up, at bedtime, or sometime in between doesn’t matter. What’s most important is that I see this as a meeting with myself, a very important one that I’m committed to keeping – today and each day forward.
“The way you develop your attention is to spend time sitting quietly, really noticing. And doing that over time, develops a habit to actually want to do it even when you are in activity or reactivity.” – Neelam
Are you struggling as a parent? If so, I’d like to share something with you: a story and some hope.