Humans can have some very interesting patterns. Thought patterns, language patterns, and behavior patterns. Interesting.
Some of these result in suffering for not only ourselves, but those around us. Seeing patterns for what they are can help.
A pattern is something we have repeated enough to default to it when we’re not paying attention. That can be a good thing if that means you put on your seat belt before driving, brush your teeth before bed, or go to the bathroom before a long road trip.
It may not be so helpful if it means you are hating yourself in your head, thinking atrocities about someone you love, or leaving the dishes until they pile up and everyone in the house is asking “when are you going to clean up the kitchen”?!
One approach to seeing patterns for what they are is to become aware of how they work (or don’t work) in your life. Just watch and observe. Be open to how these particular patterns formed in your life.
This information may or may not come quickly and sometimes it isn’t important as we’re not looking for someone to blame. We are looking for roots. Sometimes we see the roots and can pull them up so no trace is left, other times they dissolve under the ground. Whatever works.
If you are pulling up roots, be sure you don’t pull too hard. Be gentle with the thoughts, language, or patterns – if you are harsh it is possible that you are continuing to allow a pattern that you don’t want in the back door. Again, just see it for what it is.
As you see the patterns for what they are – simply repeated actions – spend an equal amount of energy considering patterns you would like to learn and incorporate. Learn and integrate new patterns!