When we are in the midst of conflict, viable solutions may feel completely out of reach, resulting in stress which interferes with various aspects of our lives.
Mediation is a process of choice with a neutral, trained facilitator who supports conversation that can bridge the gap between differing, and even deeply opposing interests, so people can effectively resolve conflicts with respect and care. As the process of mediation is engaged, open space is created for all perspectives to be heard as collaborative, sustainable solutions are sought and discovered. When the involved parties identify what they agree on, the mediator creates a typed document with the agreed upon interests for the parties to sign, which is a legally binding agreement that can also be submitted for court purposes as needed.
Background & Experience
As a mother of five and passionate advocate for peaceful conflict resolution whenever possible, mediation is one of my favorite ways to support families and community members from all walks of life. Whether you are in the midst of a battle or simply need a neutral, supportive party to facilitate collaborative problem solving, my training and mediation practice are grounded in the Michigan Mediator Standards of Conduct to ensure a thorough and respectful mediation experience.
The Mediator Standards of Conduct include: supporting self-determination during mediation, maintaining impartiality, identifying and avoiding conflicts of interest, maintaining mediator competence, ensuring safety before and during mediation, protecting the quality of the mediation process, truthful advertising and solicitation, providing each party or party’s representative with information about fees, etc. and mediating in ways that advance the practice of mediation.
Along with mothering, which offers a plethora of opportunities to support creative negotiation, my mediation skills are continually honed through formal mediation training and community engagement in a broad range of problem solving capacities. Such as, sharing communication skills with Our Community Listens, directing the Women’s Economic Empowerment Program for YWCA Great Lakes Bay Region, working with Midland Public Schools and Bay Arenac ISD to integrate mindfulness in education and with at-risk youth, supporting women with various skills for recovery with the Tri County Adjudication Program, encouraging youth with vital social emotional skills through The Rock Center for Youth Development, creating connected, empathetic and inclusive community by learning from individuals whose stories are too often unheard with The Visibility Project Podcast and volunteering with the Community Resolution Center as a Domestic Relations Mediator to support collaborative problem solving.
“If there is a conflict that cannot be solved by one’s own means,
Thomas Hubl
it is a responsibility, not a deficiency, to ask for support to create a movement.”
Areas of Mediation
All mediation is trauma informed and intended to support the process of collaborative problem solving with willing participants. When mediation is indicated to not be suitable, referral to alternative options for resolution will be provided upon request of any involved party.
Family Mediation – Family members may seek mediation to resolve problems of any nature; from health to education, elder care and anything in between. Engaging mediation can help put an end to arguing and ineffective efforts to resolve conflict, while supporting sustainable solutions.
Divorce, Separation, Custody and Parenting Time Mediation – When two people who planned to be together for life realize this is no longer feasible, with or without children, this can be one of the most challenging experiences to go through. Similarly, co-parenting is not always easy and can bring tension which creates stress that no one in the family needs, especially the children. Mediation can support the process of making necessary decisions related to divorce, separation, custody and/or parenting time so families can come to mutually agreeable solutions which support the interests and needs of those involved.
Guardianship & Elder Care Mediation – As loved ones need additional care during the aging process and/or due to health issues, disabilities, etc., their needs and preferences are vital in any decision making. Mediation can support the understanding of what is most important to all involved parties, while ensuring the needs of the person receiving support are prioritized during the process.
Preparing for Mediation
Mediation is generally scheduled for 2 hours at a time online with Zoom or in person; depending on the circumstances, needs and abilities of the mediating parties. Before mediation is scheduled, a private safety screening will be conducted with each participant individually to ensure that mediation is a safe option, as well to discuss any support or accommodations which may be needed.
While parties may consider their interests before mediation, keeping an open mind to the possibility of new, collaborative solutions being discovered during mediation may also be helpful as you prepare. Each party will have an opportunity to share what is important to them during the process of mediation to support the discovery of mutually agreeable solutions. Mediation is most productive when all parties are actively engaged with considering the interests presented by each person who is participating.
Some people may find it helpful to plan at least fifteen to thirty minutes of personal space before mediation to focus on preparing for solution finding, and after mediation to decompress when it is complete. Coming to the table to find solutions during times of tension requires courage, and that is worthy of acknowledgment throughout and after the mediation process.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will mediation work for my situation? Mediation may or may not result in agreements. My commitment is to uphold the Michigan Mediator Standards of Conduct while we work towards solutions to see what is possible. Mediation is often worth a good faith attempt if all parties are willing to come to the table.
What are the risks of mediation? Sharing information to find solutions can be vulnerable, and not all who come to mediation demonstrate respect for all interests on the table. Sometimes people feel hurt, scared, angry, sad or a range of other emotions, and this can bring some challenges into mediation. Parties may walk away without any agreements, and end up feeling like time and energy were wasted.
How do you address the risks? As a neutral facilitator, my role is to mitigate the risks of mediation through following the Michigan Mediator Standards of Conduct while supporting the parties before they step into mediation and throughout the entire experience of mediation. With respect as a basis, many of these risks never enter the mediation space and if they do, they are addressed right away so space can be cleared in the communication to focus on the purpose of mediation to find collaborative solutions. Additionally, caucus with the mediator is always an option and offers the parties separate space to share interests with the mediator privately, take a brief break and even stay in a separate space while the mediator goes between parties to share their interests and help come up with solutions they can agree on.
What are the benefits of mediation? The possibility of collaborative solutions is one main benefit of mediation. Engaging with the mediative process offers people in conflict the opportunity to lay down their swords and choose to find resolution together, rather than avoid problems or leave the decision making up to the court system or other authority. When mediation works well, parties often leave mediation feeling a sense of relief and sometimes even closure, or at minimum the ability to more freely move forward. Creativity, courage, collaboration, compassion, connection, curiosity and compromise may be experienced in mediation, which is often more empowering than the avoidance and/or angst that can be present without support to resolve conflicts.
What are some reasons to not mediate? When people cannot speak up for themselves and their interests, do not feel safe to do so, there is a history of violence in the relationship which cannot be mitigated during the mediation process and/or there are other barriers to engaging with mediation in ways that would contribute to success, mediation may not be suitable. A safety screening is done with each individual before entering mediation to identify when this is happening, so an appropriate determination and referral can be made as needed. Within the United States, the court systems serve a valuable purpose with guidance during difficult legal situations. Sometimes parties cannot come to decisions together for a multitude of reasons and barriers. When mediation does not work or is not suitable, we have the support of elders, arbitrators, referees, judges, etc. to hear the parties and make decisions based on the interpretation of law and information presented.
Are you qualified to mediate? Yes! As a mediator I draw from formal mediation training and multidisciplinary problem solving experience to support effective mediation. Currently I am not on the county court roster for referrals because I am in the process of working towards the required practice hours. At present, the State of Michigan does not have state level mediation certification process requirements for the practice of mediation, so it is worth asking what training a mediator has before agreeing to work with them.
What are your rates? Mediation is offered on a sliding scale at this time, in a range that offers flexibility for clients and ensures a living wage for me.
Scheduling Mediation
Please visit my contact page to schedule a consultation for mediation. I look forward to working with you!
Formal Mediation Training
